Thursday, May 21, 2009

Planning a ride again..Kimmy..

Never been much for planning a ride..I just sorta know the direction I want to go and then get there..I like the unconventional path,,riding and in life..Pismo Beach was an old favorite for this weekend and an old bro dropped me a line to see if I was game for a BBQ Saturday..How times change, his place was down by the beach in the day..When I say shack it was,,but it's beach front Bro..He sold to a developer a few years back for stupid money..Now has an uptown shack by the beach and cash in hand..

I got a ton of shit going on, moving gear from my shop to the new shop, graphics, picture stuff..art work being done..bikes to move, bikes for sale and bikes to buy, need to go to Long Beach and scourer the the bike swap for some parts..I don't have time to do a ride,,what the fuck did I just say!!!! Now work and real life have it's place in a bikers life but some how the words don't have time to ride should be banned I am ashamed of myself..I pick up the phone..

I call an old friend in Solvang to see what she up to Saturday..See if she want's to ride up to Stiens for a BBQ and stroll down memory lane,,maybe a ride out to Bloody's..She picks up the phone and I tell her what's up..she say's no one called you did they?? No, what up..Kimmy died Tuesday..the cancer got her..They are burying her on Friday..

I went numb..I had not seen her in years..we all have a first true love and she was mine. We shared youth, vigor. learning and lifes teenage and young adult lessons..we struggled with the growing pains of becoming ones self..we shared loss and found happiness..She walked me through my greatest loss..stood beside me and guided me home..she knew the funk I had climbed into would be the end of us..the anger would be with me until I found away to put it to rest..she hung on as long as she could..I had tears in my eyes and told T I would call her back..

I don't do funerals, maybe some of those who ride understand but many take it personal..Hey it's just me..No Friday afternoon I will be on that little river road where we loved each other for many a summer night, where I drank myself into a funk..where we lost Aaron and Vicky on the dark lonely night..I'll toss the dozen roses I never brought you over the side..maybe shed a tear..and give you the many thanks for all you brought into my life..

Rat

3 comments:

mq01 said...

sorry for your loss rat. rest in peace kimmy.

FLHX_Dave said...

Man. That's a pretty heavy load you just dumped. Sorry to hear about that. The real bitch here is that it's only gonna keep happening and more frequently.

Just the way it is. I started remembering my first as I read. I wrote here almost every day for two years until I could get a car to go see her. When I got the car her friend wrote me and told me that she was getting married. I was 17...that fixed me good.

Sorry for the loss. However, you're still alive...just remember that.

ratone said...

Thanks Sunshine, Dave..

My loss was years ago..it was her gain..she got the stability she wanted and deserved, family, kids and white picket fence..She was damn fine people and I feel for her Husband, Kids and Sisters..me I think I will turn off the phone and go for a ride..life's to short to dwell on the past and work all the time..
in the wind..
Rat