Friday, February 8, 2013

Oh that smell...

Friday night..payday and the dirty one has a an idea..about the same idea every Friday but at least I know his minds still semi functional. .Hey bro ride over by my place around seven..we can go grab so brews and carnitas. .Not one to turn down either I agree..Little side trip to the Bomb Shelter after I'm sure..

The old pan and the shovel shined sweet we head to Fresno. .Pepes down town..big ass plate of refrieds and greasy carnitas..couple of cold Coors and off to the Bomb Shelter we head..now the parking is in the rear but the only way to get there is through the bar..so we putt right through and grab a space..

Now the Bomb Shelter is one of those fine establishments..they got a stage with dancers. .never been drunk enough to throw more than a glace that way..scary..normally a few ears and eyeballs on the floor at closing time..normally 6 or 8 Fresno PD parked across street then too..never stay late..and always a fine crowd of people hanging. .we grab a table and order a brew..all the sudden the carnitas grease and refrieds rumble..Damn only one cure so as dignified as you can you let rip..

Now my sound suppressing was excellent. .but happened next was well...history. .so I sitting there little grin going when this green cloud of funk hits my nose..then it hits the dirty one..then it hits the fat bastard behind me..you know the look..when your acting like ya don't smell it and your trying to figure out who cut the beast..well the trick to a good fart is act like it was someone else..

So the dirty one has the nasty evil right on me..I do the flick head toss towards the fat bastard..easy prey. .not so fast..he catches it..in a deep load voice he says not me little man..if I was gonna fart it would be like this..he stands up and lets loose an earthmover..felt the table shake..damn. .About that time someone else busts one..its a war..chicks running for the doors..dudes chowing pickled eggs and draft..grunting and groaning. .rippers..wall shakers..silent but deadlys..Its was all out war..

Now if your ever lucky enough to find yourself facing a fart war..some tips and tricks..any cheap ale..broccoli. .boiled eggs..most real spicy Mexican food..will help you stand your ground..This was researched in the dirty ones garage over a period of years..If you work your combination of sound and smell you can win the war..not many dates..keep your nose up..

Rat

3 comments:

Warlock Sundance said...

I ain't laughed so damn hard in a while.....thanks.

ratone said...

Forgot to add Dr.Pepper to the list..welcome...enjoy..

Arizona Harley Dude said...

That is classic! Still laughing.