Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Darkness. .Sunshine. .Hope

Twisted fate..that's a place that lives under the surface in all of us..Some are strong..or lucky to never see or feel its tentacles digging through you..some aren't as lucky..I played my cards and lost all..material possessions can be replaced. .freinds..family. .love..joy. .happiness. ..self worth are hard to recover..didn't need drugs..didn't need a drink..lived in the past..tried to hold on..show my strength as I slowly lost my dignity..pride...my one true love in life..
I don't know if there a guardian angel or we all have someone who watches over us..I do know I returned a text message and that was the last card left in my deck..I flipped the lucky bastard card..The last person alive that should talk to me..oh the damage done..the pain I freely gave..hello. ..like a soft breeze passing through my raging skull..
I was in a deep dark place you can only find inside you..on this day and days to follow I was asked to dig deep into my wicked soul. .it hurts my friends knowing and facing those demons that dwell inside you..tears and rage were my menu..love and hate..releasing feelings long buried. .
You stood by me..not interfering knowing the pain you had felt..reaching out when needed..standing back when not..its a hard process..my first lessons was learning what true love really is..
Its a long hard road. .forgiving myself may never happen. .Life grows less dark..The Sunshine in my life is much more distant..to far to ever hold..but far brighter than ever before..I know pain. .I know true love is not what we were lead to believe in life..I know one friend. .dear friend who I will always be greatful..I'm not back yet. .but moving a little farther everyday..hugs Sunshine they are all for you..and the friends who read this..thanks. ..

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