Thursday, February 12, 2009

Two Rat Bastards codes and standards..

I fired up this old blog page to get out of the BON and found somebody to share and help with this and more..for those who have never had the pleasure Biker or Not..sometimes good things stay good, sometimes they don't..a biker site is a great idea if they had bikers..The ones that were there are here..I enjoy sharing road stories and the experience of the lifestyle and welcome it..Picking, plucking, ducking, chucking, clucking, biking, riding, kicking and pushing allowed..bullshit, bickering and badmouthing required...sick shit encouraged... Converting metric rides required..Lying, stretching the truth and foul language considered normal..

Cupcakes, recipes that don't require you to hunt and kill the main dish, cute baby stories,,(dog stories are OK)..graduations pictures unless they are part of your parole portfolio, gay rights, liberal policies and any thing that say's ACLU,,politics or blood sucking ticks..Bailouts that are not from at least 4000 feet..Chicks with dicks..or just plain dicks..blogs that contain any of the above in anything but a derogatory manner will get you tossed..

It's about bikes and the lifestyle..Have fun..


mq01 said...

so now im confused, haggis and blood sausage, in or out?!? ;) xoxo

ratone said...

Did you kill it and make it yourself..if so sharing the experience is welcome...

click said...

if it ain't frappywhippedshit related it gets bounced - if it ain't harley it's crap - those are the rules as I understand em - some play by em - some live by em - I could give a fuck - just sayin'

ratone said...

Damn Roo reading classes for the confused...

click said...

it's friday - I get to put my check in the bank and give it to others, every friggin' penny of it - not the happiest of campers

ratone said...

I know the feeling..Been running around doing the same shit..

atomicbomb said...

I just at last paid all my HUGE debt off - completely, totally zero debt, and don't have much else bedides a couple of old harleys and a couple of old funky chevrolets, but every bit of rust on them is all mine, ain't no repo man on my trail! Woohoo! Life is good! Makes me wanna shoot something and cook and eat it to celebrate! Ahahaha!

Hey how come ya can't post html images here on comments? Or is there a way?

ratone said...

As long as you pass along the recipe once you shoot, kill, clean and cook all fine..LOL

Pug said...

Damm you mean we have to Blog about Motorcycles , fucking hell wotever Next

hey-up atomicbomb wellcome to the Rat Hole

mq01 said...

atomicbomb, you rock, debt free is fantastic-and especially in these times. btw, pics in comments, we cant seem to find a way but feel free to play around with the blog, theres lots of buttons and gadgets to there may be a way...

and very cool, i see pug, mustve figured out profile pics...

Pug said...

i ain't got a clue how i added me profile picture i did summit in the profile section and it appeared , jeez this is a major brain fart working out how to use this site , but i'm getting there

atomicbomb said...

hey pug, yer hair's getting really long! been riding?

mqO1 woohoo... I hear YOU are the one who rocks!

ratone, great writing on the 'Bloody' story!

click, you will roo the day!

I heard a rumor eg's Clem is not well? wassup with that?

Hello Everyone!!!

Pug said...

heyup atomicbomb

nah not been out on a bike in a while too busy saving every penny for the Bike Build

hair maybe longer as it ain't getting pulled out of my head so far coz i havn't started the Build Proper then it'll be shorter like my temper lol

great to see ya posting here :)

atomicbomb said...

PugsleyWugsley, Wut are ya building? I musta missed that part- Didja buy an S&S super fast motor for a chopper build, to fart around those what I imagine as UK country roads? Or maybe take it over to the Autobahn and go for it wooohooo? Where in UK can you ride a big bike and let it stretch out? What's your plan?

And good to be back in touch with yer silly sense of humour! :)
eMail me your eMail address and I can send you some interesting pics- of motorcycles... ahaha!

Pug said...

atomic , well theres a sorta build list on anutha blog in here .

nope not got me S & S Shovel Engine.............yet its on me list of wanted parts though , not building a fast bike more of a stripped crusier to put some miles on it

erm how the hell do i give yer my email addi ?

yup i like me silly humour and ilike your HD History stuff so i guess were sorta even there

once the 1st version is built it'll be used an abused on the UK roads doing its duty as a pack mule for partys rallies an runs to the coast

Autobahns nah i hate freeways there bloody boring things to ride on and anyhow they speak funny over there

atomicbomb said...

pugsley-wugsley, my personal email addy is
send me money, harley parts, orgasms... um... or something.

I understand how you could think
autobahn is boring going average speeds, but I wonder if you are going at the maximum speed of your engine on a big fast bike like some do, if that would be boring...?

I prefer the hairpin twisties along the Pacific Coast Highway through the Redwood Trees above the ocean -- more fun than the aphalt slab through California's long flat Sacramento Valley. Unless I wanna get somewhere far away fast, I'd rather do backroads riding.

I will look for your blog on your build. I am new to this site, and have not figured it all out...

Click.. rat ya are... if it ain't harleys it's crap... and sometimes even if its NEW harleys it's crap, just sayin' ahahahhaha! But some of the vintage european bikes were pretty awesome, huh? aerial square fours, and such. I'd love to ride on of those in excellent running condition on a closed track...

So where all all the really bad jokes I used to love you telling, Pugsley-Wugsley? HUH?

Hi, mq01! Hi, everybody! Woohoo! Life is good! I got one harley that runs great! I got enough money in pocket for a tank of gas, and the weather is 50+/-, not freezing at all... what could be better?

How about you?

mq01 said..., parts, orgasms, YEAH... a girl close to my heart.... ;) !!! priorities!!! woohoo...

hey, the blog, it can be a little weird to get used to at first, but its fun. on the main/headline page you can scroll thru the blog posts from top down. or if you look to the right on main page youll find "archives" in date order, maybe that will help. some find its easier to maneuver from the dashboard page instead of the main page. so its just a matter of preference...and playing with buttons, lol...

Pug said...

atomicbomb i'll email yer ok .

erm Ratty want's this to be a serious site about bikes an rides which is fine , if he would like a jokes Blog aswell i'm sure i could help

ratone said...

Pugly's..damn that so cute..joke away..friends, lifestyle and jokes are a big part of that, rental orgasms, what purse your nuts are hiding in, how too and why not too's are all welcome..Bringing good ole bikers together to share good times is why we got this you do it is up to you..

atomicbomb said...

puggily-wuggily wrote:
"erm Ratty want's this to be a **serious** site about bikes"

atomicbomb is trying to be serious
mmm... woot woot!
trying to be serious...
still trying...
Ahahh haha hahah ahha!!!
f-f-f- f is for fork
fork you!
no wait... f is for fork oil...
now that's **serious** business...
The oil in your forks should be changed on a regular basis to keep the seals from cracking and the fork's shock/dampening functioning properly.

Early model harley forks require disassembly of the fork sliders. Most recent model Harley's have drain plugs and fill plugs. Unless you plan on rebuilding your forks and replacing seals, simply drain the fluid from the drain ports.

Once completely drained, pump the forks to expel any remaining fluid. Replace the plugs and fill the forks through the top caps with an approved fork oil. The capacity varies by model but for most Softails and Dynas this amount is about 9 to 10 oz. If using Harley brand fork oil then type "B" or "E" is recommended depending on the model. The alternative product for those is called Shock Therapy #10 Fork Oil, which can be used in place of either type oil.

Avoid using ATF transmission fluid. This can be too light for most heavy big twins despite having similar chemical qualities. Fork lubricants, whether from the dealer or synthetic is not so expensive as to use ATF in it's place. Only use new fork lubricant from a sealed container. Unused portions should be kept air tight and stored in a cool dry place. Discard previously opened containers of shock lubricant not used within 6 months of opening. Fresh is better.

Slowly pump the forks to distribute the oil and dislodge any air bubbles after filling. Check for any leaks as this might indicate a rebuild is required.

So, izzat serious enough frappywhippedshit for you ratbastards?

Tell us a joke, pugsley wugsley?
Today's joke-a-thon challenge:

=How many harley riders does it take to change a light bulb?=

Okay, let's hear the answers, kids! Best answer wins a free starbucks frappywhippedshit! ah ha haha ha!

And, lest we forget the words of
The Great Roo-Dee-Doo:
"If it ain't harley its crap."

Hey mq01... pass the haggis!!!

ratone said...

None,,fuck the light bulb..let's ride..

click said...

trick question - a harley guy can't change anything - he drops the lamp off at the dealer, waits seven weeks for the bulb to be replaced and then trailers it home

atomicbomb said...

Two Harley owners were riding through the back woods two lanes when they came across a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence. The first Harley owner pulls his chopper over, parks it, gets off, walks up to the sheep, pulls down his pants & does the sheep to the tune of a lot of grunting and bleating.

Then he turns to his buddy and said, "Ok it's your turn now."

So his buddy sticks his head in the fence.


Q. Why don't Harley owning women like to use vibrators?

A: It chips their teeth.


Q: You knew that Harley Davidson supplied the US Army with motorcycles but did you know that they also built land mine detectors back during World War II?

A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.

A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.


A guy who always wanted to own a Harley wins a brand new Fatboy in a contest. He rides around all the time, gunning his throttle, rattling windows and waving at all the other jealous rednecks in the trailer park. One day the other jealous rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt road and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass."

They go back over to their tool boxes on their pickup trucks, take out hammers and start busting up his new Fatboy. They look back and he is smiling. They hit the Harley some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask

"Why are you laughing? We just busted up your new ride, man!"

He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."


Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night? A Harley owner on vacation drowned when the pickup truck he was hauling his Harley around in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the bottom. The passenger says that he got out okay but the driver died trying to get his Harley out of the back of the pickup ... he drowned trying to get the tailgate open.


Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Milwaukee?

A: Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


Q: Why did the Harley owner cross the road?

A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.


Q: How do you get a one-armed Harley owner out of a tree?

A: Wave to him.


Did you hear about the theory of evolution and the jump from ape to man, only Harley owners didn't jump far enough...?


Two Harley owners were riding through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went back home.


These two Harley owners rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?" The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"


Did you hear in the news that a two seater Cessna recently crashed in a cemetery in Milwaukee? Local officials report that they have so far retrieved 2000 bodies from the crash site and are calling it the greatest air disaster in the city's history.


A Honda owner is riding along with a Harley owner as his passenger when he decides to pull over because he suspects that his turn signal may not be working. He asks the Harley owner if he doesn't mind stepping off of the bike to check the lights while he tests them. The Harley owner steps off and stands in front of the Honda. The Honda rider turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?"

To which the Harley owner responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."


This Harley owner came home one day from work, hung up his leathers, took off his half helmet and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the bedside end table, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing.

"Don't laugh!" he tells her. "You're next!"


Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Harley owner wedding?

A: He's the one with the CLEAN mechanic�s shirt.


Q: How do you stop a Harley owner on horseback?

A: Unplug the carousel.


A Harley owner saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your shirt backwards?"

The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!"

The Harley owner scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I don't wear my shirt backwards!"

Again the priest laughed. "But I am a Father of thousands!"

To which the Harley owner replied, "Well then you should wear your shorts backwards!"


A Harley owner went to a carpenter and said, "Can you build me a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"

"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?"

"Well, you see," said the Harley owner, "my neighbor moved away and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."


Q: Did you hear about the latest officially licensed and endorsed Harley Davidson product?

A: It's a solar-powered flashlight.


A traveling salesman has an audience with the head of a major business and, not quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke... "Have you heard the one about the two Harley Davidson owners?"

"But I _am_ a Harley owner." the business owner says angrily.

There followed a pregnant pause while the salesman thought quickly ...

"That's OK, sir, I'll tell you it slowly."


Q: How many Harley owners does it take to change a light bulb?\

A1: 3. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to spin the chair.

A2: 1001. One to hold the bulb and the other 1000 to spin the house.

A3: Change a light bulb? Ha! That's what customer service is for!


A Harley owner wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Harley owner to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Harley owner understood and was ready. The time came to have the Harley owner jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the Harley owner that he would be right behind him. The Harley owner proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Harley owner. The Harley owner seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"


Q: What do you do if a Hell's Angel throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.


Q: What do you do if a Hell's Angel throws a hand-grenade at you?

A: Take the pin out and throw it back.


A Harley owner rides up to a whore house one Saturday night looking for some fun. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Harley owner she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. The Harley owner comes out in five minutes. "How was it?", says the Madam. "I don't know," says the Harley owner, "I bit her on the tit, she farted and flew out the window!"


Q: How do you know if a Harley owner has been using a computer?

A: There's whiteout on the screen.


Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner who wanted to be buried at sea after he died?

A: Five other Harley owners drowned digging his grave.


A Harley owner was walking back to the trailer park, carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his friends, who asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some beer in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many beers you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The Harley owner says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many beers I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."


Did you hear about the tragedy in Milwaukee?

In Milwaukee's largest shopping mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours.


Did you hear about the Harley owner that froze to death outside a drive-in theater? He was waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."


Q: How do you know when you're flying over Milwaukee?

A: You can spot the toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.


Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner who married an Amish woman?

A: He drove her buggy.


Q: Did you know that Milwaukee just bought 10,000 Septic Tanks?

A: As soon as they learn how to drive 'em, they are going to use them against the terrorists.



Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and circle the the appropriate heading on the right side.


1. A clitoris is a type of flower. True / False

2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True / False

3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. True / False

4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. True / False

5. Menstrual cycle has two (2) wheels. True / False

6. A G-string is part of a violin. True / False

7. Semen is another word for "sailor". True / False

8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly". True / False

9. Testicles are found on an octopus. True / False

10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. True / False

11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True / False

12. KOTEX is a radio station in downtown Milwaukee. True / False

13. Coitus is a musical instrument. True / False

14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke". True / False

15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. True / False

16. A condom is an apartment complex. True / False

17. An organism is the person who accompanies the choir in church. True / False

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. True / False

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. True / False

20. An erection is when the Japanese vote for their new government officials. True / False

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. True / False

22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. True / False

23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. True / False

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. True / False

25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve" True / False

26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. True / False

27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. True / False


Following the brutal assault of a young woman, the police rounded up the usual suspects for a lineup; suddenly, the Harley owning suspect stepped forward and screamed "That's her!!"


Q: How do you get a Harley owner out of the bath tub?

A: Throw in a bar of soap and get out of the way.


These two Harley owners are building a garage to keep their bikes in. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away.

He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end."

The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those are for the other side of the garage!"


Q: What are the two biggest Harley owner lies?

A: The check's in your mouth, and I won't come in the mail.


Harley owner knock-knock joke:

First Harley owner: Knock-Knock!

Second Harley owner: Come in!


A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "85." So the robot started talking about NASCAR, wrestling, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."

A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "50." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Milwaukee these days?"


A Honda rider walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with the biker at the bar. "Want to hear a Harley Joke?"

The second guy says "Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door-real mean motherfuckers-??? They're Harley owners. And those two bouncers by the bar? They're Harley owner too! The Bartender? He�s a Harley owner!! And one more thing pal, I'm Harley owner too!!! Now..... still want to tell that joke?"

"Hell no!", replies the Honda rider, "I don't want to have to explain it 6 times!"


Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner that locked his keys in his car?

A1: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.

A2: He had to spend $50 to get a locksmith to help him get his family out.


Q: Why do Harley owner dogs have flat noses?

A: From chasing parked cars.


Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner who studied for 5 days?

A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.


Q: How do you confuse a Harley owner?

A: Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.


Q: How do you keep a Harley owner in suspense?
A: (silence)


Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Milwaukee?

A: They forgot the recipe.


Q: What happens when a Harley owner doesn't pay his garbage bill?

A: They stop delivering.


Q: How do you ruin a Harley owners party?

A: Flush the punch bowl.


Q: Why did they close down the Milwaukee public library?

A: Someone stole the coloring book.


A Harley owner was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously.

"Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Harley owner. "I thought you were after the $400 in my left boot!"


Q: Why did the Harley owner couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.


Q: What did the Harley owner say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?

A: "Are you sure it's yours?"


A Harley owner is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred trees for you in one day."

So the Harley owner takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two trees, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two trees?", the Harley owner asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day", the Harley owner tells himself.

So, the next morning the Harley owner gets up at 4 in the morning and cuts, and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and he only manages to cut five trees down. The Harley owner is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut a hundred trees in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer", the Harley owner says to himself.

The very next day the Harley owner brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the Harley owner's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Huh, it looks fine." Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the Harley owner responds, "Why is it making that noise?"


Q: Why did the Harley owner sell his water skis?

A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.


Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Harley owner is there?

A: He's the one with a duck.


Q: Knock, Knock?

Q: Who's there?

A: Harley owning burglar.


Q: Why did the Harley owner put ice in his condom?

A: To keep the swelling down.


Did you hear about the Milwaukee girl who tried to trade her menstrual cycle in on a Harley?


A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Harley owner and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw your wife giving you a blow job. Nyah, nyah, nyah."

The Harley owner answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny. Nyah, nyah, nyah--I wasn't even home last night."


Q: What does it say on the bottom of a beer bottle in Milwaukee?

A: Open other end.


Did you know that on the top of all ladders at the Harley Davidson manufacturing plant they have a STOP sign?


This Harley owner gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Bubba, you big dummy! You're supposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!"

Even more confused, he went and got his bowling ball then put it in the sink.


Two Harley owners are riding across America on a 727, a 3-engined plane, when the pilot announces, "Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don't worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines, but we're going to be about 1 hour late getting into Dallas."

An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again, "Folks, don't get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don't worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine, but now we'll be about 2 hours late getting into Dallas."

After that announcement, one Harley owner looks at the other and says, "Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn't go out. We'll be up here all night."


Did you hear about the Harley owner who heard on the radio that 90 percent of all accidents happen within a 10-mile radius of the home? He moved.


Q: How do you break a Harley owner's finger?

A: Punch him in the nose.


Q: How do you break a Harley owner�s finger?

A: Kick him in the ass.


Q: What's the smallest room in the world?

A: The Harley Davidson Hall of Fame.


Q: Have you seen the new Harley Davidson handkerchef?

A: (take a pen, draw a big "HD" on the bottom of your fingertip, then hold it up to show it.)


Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner who lost $50 on the football game?

A: $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.


Q: Why don't Harley owners breast-feed their babies?

A: It hurts too much when they boil the nipples.


Q: Why do Harley owners make lousy lovers?

A: Because they always wait for the swelling to go down.


Q: What do you call a Harley owner with 10 girl friends?

A: A shepherd.


In New York, they say, "It's 10:00 - Do you know where your children are?"

In Milwaukee, they say, "It's 10:00 - Do you know what time it is?"

mq01 said...

rental orgasms?..does that mean i can keep cumming back for more?.. >;-)

boiled nipples, phfffft that hurts just thinkin of it..oh

need some stout for the haggis please