how to

Shovel Snow
for those of you that have never been "blessed" by the "dig out or die"
experience
this is a mini tutorial
Step 1 - this is the most important step - if you do not do as I say - well, you best do this first - just sayin'
Before the shit hits - bring a shovel inside - if you wait until after the shit hits - well, you just didn't read Step 1
Step 2 - once the shit has hit AND settled down at least a bit - grab your shovel and STEP OUTSIDE!!!
common sense tells you to do this but I hadda add this for the harley guys
Step 3 - once outside you will notice a MASSIVE accumulation of white "stuff" - that is snow - see what you can see - if you can almost make out where your car might be then it ain't too bad
if'n all you can see is white - fuck it, grab your cell - dial a pro and tell her to bring a shovel - if'n she makes it to the door then - and only then - negotiate price - if'n she ain't to your liking - no biggie and your walk might almost be clean - shouldda thought of this one earlier - but
Step 4 - if you are about to shovel then have yourself a looksee in regards to where you'll be piling the snow - REMEMBER - it may only be 3 or 4 feet deep but when shoveled the pile - which will extend from where you began to where you finally conceded defeat will be over your friggin' head so - plan where the snow will go
there might be a whole bunch more steps but I haven't gotten there yet
and for those of you that did not bring the shovel in before the shit hit
y'all gotta be harley guys so - do what comes natural
grab you a big ole mug of frappywhippedshit - assume the "pose" and
should any roll by wonderin' why you ain't cleanin' what Mother Nature dumped - simply tell em what they already knew
"shovel's in the shop, gettin' new bling installed - gettin' it back in maybe 6 weeks"