fuckin' damn THINGIE ! ! ! ! !

stripped a bolt in the rear fender last year - it worked itself a tad loose - when I went to remove it - snap!!! -
so I drilled it out, twas a piece of cake - insert tap and after a turn or two - snap!!! -
can't drill that out -
thought about a new fender but - where's the fun in that so -
angle grinder to take the thingie off - weld on a new thingie - sand, prime, paint - maybe, except -
that fucking thingie - I forgot it's damn name!!! -
a little help!!! -
it's a - drawing a blank - starts with b or f - as in FUCK!!!!!! -
stood by a starbux so Goose could snap a pic - that's where I left my friggin' grey matter dammit!!!
FUCKING FRAPPYWHIPPEDSHIT!!!!!!

Shifting through lifes gears..

Most people don't own a bike for 30 years, than again most people don't own a Harley. Me and the Shovel have been together that long and many other have sat in the stable during it's stay. From day one it fit, we got along. Over the years it seems we change at the same pace. Let me explain..

The tranny is the place to start..Lifes gears..When I was 18 and the Shovel was fresh off the showroom floor dropping it into first was a breeze, smooth and ready to roll. Today dropping her into first means a little more boot and even then there is a chance it will jump back into neutral..and neutral is hard to find if your looking. First is short and sweet..The next step to adventure..

Second gear meant we were moving,,When she was new we didn't spend much time there..always rushing for third..Today we can spend a little more time there as the rush to third is not as important as it once was..and it takes a little more boot to get it there..

Third gear is like a forgotten gear. Top side of the midway point to reaching you goal of forth gear. Now third gear and me share allot of traits..Our synchro's are a little worn and it is a hard shift..we do it knowing to reach were we are going it has to be done..Could the problem be fixed,,sure but does it need to be ??..do I miss lifes smooth shifts when I'm at 48 mph and it's time to grab fourth..No third gear has got to be a habit..

Forth gear, never need five or six we have got along fine with four..Forth meant look out world I'm coming at ya when she was new..Now it means we are rolling, we know are limits and the only rush is to soak up the freedom forth brings..Don't need to go fast anymore I just need to go..Like life we have learned the faster we go the faster lifes little speed bumps jump out at you..Back to neutral..

Downshifting was easy in it was new but we never made a point to slow down. Neutral was easy to find but hard to stay in..Now neutrals a bitch to find and hard to get out of..takes a push and a pull to get it there..sometimes it will do it by itself..but only popping out of first. I'm not a fan of neutral but as the years roll by I realize you spend more time there in life than anyplace else..Time to find first..

Jokes Only Blog

To save space on here ,  i'll just post in one place ONLY 

Otherwise it'll ruin the site having a load of Jokes Blogs running top to Bottom 

that an the Fact i've got fucking loads , Some Old some New

BE WARNED quite a Few of the Jokes i'll Post won't be Politcally Correct and i'll rip the piss put of anyone or anything 

Building anutha Bike why oh why do I do this

Well Today a few more Parts Arrived for the Project Bike .

(Click on the "Building anutha Bike why oh why do i do this"for the link to the other nightmare)

Over the course of the last 7 Months i've been Collecting ,buying and hunting down parts for my Last Bike . Last as in I don't plan to build anutha one , yeah i said that last time though .

I Cast my mind back to last year when i sold my little black Bandit Chop , me an it had some great times together a very basic Hardtail Bike no frills or extra crap on it just a 400lb 125 BHP + bike that would rip the arms out of my sockets and to make life intresting it had fuck all ground clearence .built that in 2003 there 's a link to the first version hearabouts. Loved that bike so much i put 17,000 miles on it in 6 months , beileve you me the UK ain't very big but when you ride a bike you love that much its suprising how quickly the miles rack up.

So onto the "Harley" Up until April Last year i had never owned or ridden one , actually as a kid with no brains (older now still no brains though) i hated Harleys "overpriced old age piles of slow overweight crap" seemed to be in my mind often , my bruvver was a Harley lover then and still is now but due to other circumstances he won't ever be able to ride a bike so we would allways argue . he'd defend the Motor Company to the point of blood being spilled between us i never could understand his conviction of a bike he would never own .

So April last year i rang him up "Barrie i've bought anutha bike" him "wot is it?" me "its a Harley FXR" him "........................................." silence i shit myself why well he swore if i ever bought one he would break both of my legs as he thought i'd buy one to abuse it (me never) so after a sharp intake of and realisizing he hand't slammed the phone down to get in his car and drive 100 miles to bust me legs he simply said "send me some photographs" then he slammed the fucking phone down .

I rode the bike a lot last year did a few Rallies then in July that evil little bastid inside my head painted a picture of a Custom harley ...........uh oh...........!!!! . 

Well that fucker has been sitting there inside my head that bike since 1976 yeah i saw easyrider and i remember thinking how fucking wicked it would be to one day build my own custom harley Hardtail ..............

so here we are it's feburary i've been living on £32 a week buying value food from the supermarket and value beer (tastes awfull but it's cheaper than bottled water go figure that huh) and of course my rolling bacci , all the rest of my wages pay the bills which thankfully are cheap here the rest goes on that goddam evil little bastid dream in my head so the parts are piling up in the bedroom ., i've even thrown my bed away to make more room in there for the build . its  ok it was a crap bed and i've got a sofa to sleep on.

The collection is almost complete bar a few small parts in 2 months or so  i'll be filling up a friends car with everything then its a short road trip to the other side of the UK to the poor sod i have elected to build the frame .

whilst i can wrench an spanner stuff quite well i can't weld so not being that stupid (honest i'm not) Joe will do the sticking the metal parts together part . Once thats done i'll drag the lot home chuck everything into a local Powdercoaters to have everything possible coated in a flat black colour i don't do fancy paint i use my bike to ride rally and party so it ends up looking like a pack mule most of the time when i'm travelling 

with luck and obviosulsy with a bit more money they'll be a part 2 on here to this nightmare showing the dry build minus the engine coz i still need the FXR on the road till the last minite as its my only means of transport when i'm not working and i will put the FXR Engine back in the fxr in a few years as i'm only borrowing it coz even when the first version is built and being used i have this other urge to get a rather Special Motor for my Last Bike Build

but that'll have to wait a while

Doom & Gloom..I need to ride

How bad it is and how bad it will be seems to be all you hear these day's..as it's pounded into your head on the TV, in line at the bank, grocery store, by your friends and people you don't know..you can't escape it and it wears you thin..Soon your such a believer that you find you have your own pulpit..

The handful of working brain cells I have left over a period of time will kick in..it was slow this time around but it came to me. If I lost everything material the old Shovelhead would still be mine..We have shared 30 years and have been in some shit. Most of it was self inflicted..I put myself there, whether it was a choice I made or on that just happened we have survived. Not by falling into the public perception of doom but by doing what it takes..Self sufficient is what we were..didn't need much to survive and be happy..Life isn't always meant to be easy,,were spoiled and reliant on others to make sure we have what it takes to keep up with the Jones..What happened to us???

So I just want to ride..I want to get back to where stimulus was turning the key, kicking the motor and dropping it into gear. Life was physically hard but mentally refreshing. Point A was a place and point B was were you stopped..Life could be packed into an old pair of saddlebags and a bedroll..When life started to get complex you tossed your gear on and rolled..Can we still do this,,do we have what it takes to be free once again..No more gloom...I need to ride..

Two Rat Bastards codes and standards..

I fired up this old blog page to get out of the BON and found somebody to share and help with this and more..for those who have never had the pleasure Biker or Not..sometimes good things stay good, sometimes they don't..a biker site is a great idea if they had bikers..The ones that were there are here..I enjoy sharing road stories and the experience of the lifestyle and welcome it..Picking, plucking, ducking, chucking, clucking, biking, riding, kicking and pushing allowed..bullshit, bickering and badmouthing required...sick shit encouraged... Converting metric rides required..Lying, stretching the truth and foul language considered normal..

Cupcakes, recipes that don't require you to hunt and kill the main dish, cute baby stories,,(dog stories are OK)..graduations pictures unless they are part of your parole portfolio, gay rights, liberal policies and any thing that say's ACLU,,politics or blood sucking ticks..Bailouts that are not from at least 4000 feet..Chicks with dicks..or just plain dicks..blogs that contain any of the above in anything but a derogatory manner will get you tossed..

It's about bikes and the lifestyle..Have fun..

another cool toy

if you click on "follow this blog"
the posts within this blog show up on your "reading list"
part of your dashboard when you login
this place have any more buttons I can push?

Old Bloody

Old Bloody had two things in like he lived by. Instinct and his religion and his instincts had always served him well. His religion had nothing to do with bible thumping and everything to do with the code. He don't laugh much but when he hears today's riders claim old school he has to chuckle, His religion was tied to his brand and his patch..a patch he had earned forty-one years before and retired years ago. The young clubbers still stop by for advice but hardly ever listen but Bloody is happy that his legacy is still remembered. You did what the patch asked without question,,hell Bloody did ten years in Folsom but never turned rat..his pride still shines today.


Sitting in the little bar he always wanted, a place for the brothers and old lady's to party thinking how at sixty-two he is about the only one left. It a hard life and there is no old biker home..Bloody had many an old lady but never had love the club came firsts. He remembers far more funerals then weddings..All the sons who were slated to take over club business had moved on the the world the fathers had hated and fought so hard to resist. Bloody didn't like the way things have turned but some how understood, not many can be true to the brand..


There are days now siting in the little dusty bar at the end of the road Bloody wonders about the past..What did he miss, what left to find. The old dogs would have been at home at the end of the road,,Hell twenty years ago this place would go all day and night..Now he get courtesy stop by the club..a few of the old timers stop by and his old lady comes in and helps clean the place up..flips a few burgers and asks if this dump will ever pay the bills..Bloody doesn't care one way or the other..he's found his perfect end of the road..memory's hang on the walls..Old friends still surround him..

Lot Lizzards, road trips and why Toto's House was the last stop

My first real road trip happened just after getting out of the army..Cuz got out of the navy the same day on the other side of the world..we meet up in the little town we called home. Both of us had bought new Harley's while we were in..my shovel is still with me today..I don't see cuz anymore drugs won the battle and he now spends his days locked up I don't know where..life been an in and out battle for him..This one's your Jimbo..

The trip had been planned two years before..Home on leave and riding the local roads on the year old but new bikes..Go North to the Bay area for a week or two,,then LA, Tuscon, Lubbock Tx..and Lawrence Ks..See some friends, make some friends and learn life's lessons..ride and be free..Sissy bar and saddle bags to pack what we need..shit gets to bad we can buy new stuff..Fresh oil,,new rubber and The first leg of the trip is off and running..

Vacaville Ca. was where we started to go..ended up in the little town of Martinez..Meet an old timer..Red and White before they were on the radar..retired before it got popular and still crazy after all these years..Taco Sanchez was his name,,introduced by some friends and one of the most memory filled weeks of a life time..Super 8 movies of the old days..early 60's and 70's..hundreds of pictures and a weeks worth of tall tales..bought allot of beer..a small expense for the history told by someone who was there when it happened..Saturday came and it was time to ride..

LA was a hot bed of unknown bands and clubs..about 2 nights of checking them out we figured it was not out place and headed to Berdo..Nasty dirty edge of the desert town at the times..a night there and it was Palm Springs..Ever been there is Sept. you"ll know that there no day life..to damn hot to play.. Headed to Tuscon..reason being never been there before..had a friend..

Rode all night to Tuscon rolled into town and found a motel with a Denny's and a 7/11 close..Hard to pack brew and food on the bike..About 10am headed to 7/11 after some bacon and eggs and learned about the blue law..Now being from California we had no knowledge of the laws in these strange far away lands..Walk in and there are locks on the beer boxes..Now having been an accomplished beer run advocate in my younger days I'm thinking they must do it for sport in Tuscon, why else would they lock up the beer..So we go and hit up the clerk for the key..we need beer..The kids looks over his coke bottle glasses at us and say's it's not noon yet..Jimbo say's what's that got to do with me buying some beer..we learned about the Blue law that day..Then had a week of riding, parting and Saturday came and we were on the road again..

Leaving Tuscon early in the evening headed for Texas..Cousins we had never meet and new country to see..For a California boy a new and some what backwards place to be..If you have never watched the sun go down in the desert while riding down the road try to do it before you die..breath taking even today..I-10 out of Tuscon was wide open and waiting,,we rode into the night..Passing the Dari-Queens that seem to have grown in the most unlikely of places..

First go stop and stretch was outside of Demming NM..Truck stop where we encounter the first of life's many Lot Lizzards..For those who don't yet grasp the term,,trucker groupies,,truck stop working girls,,rest stop queens..for the most part the rough fringe of the working girl..Most of these fine ladies were toothless before it came into fashon..Meet our first working pair while try to chow down a belly bomb burger the would scare a pack of Tums right out of your pocket. As these to big haired and rather dirty looking lovelies approached the table cuz Jimbo says shit this could be fun..I'm thinking he must enjoy wasting whole days i free clinics in what ever town we end up in. They used the old those are some nice bikes line and are you fine fellas getting a room..Now the grilled onions are the burger were strong but Brenda's breath could bend spoons...Naw were riding through..as Jimbo is thinking about true love..,

Back on the road headed to Lubbock..Rolling down 380 stopped in Roswell but the aliens are all in bed at 3am..so we keep moving..Suns coming up as we ride along and the sunrise in the desert is just as good as the sundown..through the reflections we see the metal roof of a giant barn just before we cross the boarder, last call for alchol..serious..

We thump in to Texas..Cotton fields as far as the eye could see..small town and pick up trucks..about 100 miles in we pull in to our next big life lesson..Dry countys..Pull up to the pumps, it around 10am so we decide a cold one would help make the rest of the trip a little more comfortable..we search the isles, we search the coolers and they don't have any beer..I stop at the counter and ask where's the beer??? The lady looks at me like I should have been on display in Rosewell..and says this here is a dry county..you'll have to go to Lubbock if you want achahol..Damn..

We ride..as we are approaching Lubbock we see a line of stores, walk in, drive through, run through and we deliver liquor stores..a dozen of them..we roll past and into town and grab a room..ask the clerk what's up with the liquor stores outside of town..He says they don't sell booze in town if you want any you have to go back there and get it..I said..call me a cab..

Compulsary Bon Keyboard

Its in Klingon lmao 

Hot Dogs and Honda's

Stopped on the way home last night at my favorite hot dog stand..Old time drive in like you don't see much anymore..Ordered up my 4 chili dogs and pulled up a bench..Then this racket starts,,is it a bird, a plane,,no it's Yamahopper with straight Vance Hines pipes..He pulls up next to the Harley,,cuddies damn it run through my head..He wraps the pipes,,it sounds sorta like the cute girl in 8th grade English who cuts the cheese and says excuse me..you know make's ya wanna laugh...

Things got some bling, rider got all the bling..walks over and asks if he can share the table..Being the nice fellow I am I only think get your Yamahonda whopper cuddy riddle ass out of here and say pull up a bench..He orders his dogs and proceeds to give me the history of the bling bike from japan..Oh I forgot the excuse list..

Like most metric cruiser riders he had the list of why he didn't buy a Harley..Cost is the normal number 1...

Number 2..Jap shit don't break and Harley's are always in the shop..Well what few remaining brain cells I have kicked in..I asked where'd you hear that..The Yamamawhopper sales dude told me..Now add this with what dribbled out of his mouth next and the picture starts to get just a little less fuzzy..Also told me my bike has more American built parts than a Harley..Now for those boneheads who have bought into this bullshit I got a tropical Island I don't use much anymore for sale..call me..

Next I get to hear about the bling..there is chrome shit, bolted,,screwed, wire-tied and taped all over this thing..I spend $10,000 get it just how I wanted it..wow were up to $25,000 with a resale value of about $75.00...good thinking on your part..

Now his only complaint is that it's 3 years old and getting hard to find parts for cause it was discontinued a week after he bought it..But that's how the japs work..

So I'm getting ready to leave,,and I got to ask..How many miles you got on it..Almost 7000 he say's..I laugh and ask have you ever heard of BON and did you pray over it before you bought it..later..

Stress,,loud pipes, lane splitting

Ever have one of those days where the world just doesn't get it. What ever can go bad does and when you think it can't get worse it stabs you in the back one more time for a reminder. Well let me tell ya...I had one yesterday,,details don't matter but it was a blood pressure raising bitch..

There are liefs tools to combat these days and I have a few..guns work well for the minor shit days. Harley's and loud pipes works for any bad day..It's like passing the buck and it doesn't change the facts it just lowers the blood pressure and lowers the stress to the point you can think..Here what worked for me..

It's about 3:30 and I've had the welcome to my nightmare day..Not one thing feel into place in fact if it feel is on top of me. People I have under contract don't have money and the rest of the world have there slimy hands out demanding money..Junk rental I have made livable and that should have been done 3 weeks ago is still throwing curveballs at my head..Bank calls and an escrow I have waited on for 3 months fall apart..fuck me..I'm locking the doors, leathering up and heading for the city..easy to find victims there..

Bitchy Ole Shovel is running good as I roll into Fresno on the 99...Traffics backing up so the timing was good..pissed off cagers are good stress relief..Jump off on the 41, traffics moving about 15mph..why you may ask would you do this..Lane splittings legal here..what the faces as you roll through them at 50...3rd gears and the vibration from the motor echos off the zombies as you fly by..fingers fly,,stares and evil vile looks abound..Jump off at Riverpark..good Starbucks and a better parking garage..Up and down the ramps..damn not many shoppers anymore but still enough car alarms going off as you roll by to bring a smile to your face..Loud pipes saved my life today.

Monday Morning at the BON

Just another day in asshole land..I'm hanging here..see ya..Rat

Happy B-Day Clickster!

Older than I am............ lol.

okidoki i'm here now after fuck knows how much grief trying to sign up where's the beer an loose women at